Let’s face it: We’re (still) lonely. In fact, one in five employees worldwide currently feels lonely at work. One factor contributing to this loneliness epidemic may be a lack of friendships. Having friends at work can make or break our overall job satisfaction, and for many adults, the workplace is where we tend to cultivate friendships. So why do we feel so lonely, and how can organizations create conditions for friendships to thrive?
In a special Art & Science of Health Promotion Conference interview webcast, “Belongingness: Accelerating High-Trust, Resilient and Rewarding Relationships” author Shasta Nelson, M.Div., shares the value of creating strong friendships at work and how these relationships impact organizational and individual well-being.
Finding Frientimacy
Nelson describes the concept of “frientimacy” as the peak state of friendship. It’s that difference in our relationships that makes us trust one person more than others and is built on three non-negotiable conditions of friendship: consistency, positivity and vulnerability.
Consistency is simple. Seeing and spending time with someone on a frequent, regular basis helps build a relationship. Just like in school as kids, we have an obligation to show up to work regularly, where we (typically) spend time with the same group of people. Consistency builds into familiarity which leads to comfort, reliability, predictability and trust—all essential elements of a strong friendship.
Positivity isn’t just slapping a smile on your face—It’s how we feel after engaging with others. Do you walk away from an interaction feeling good? Supported? Was the experience rewarding? Of course, not every interaction with others will be life-changing, and we will inevitably experience bad days, but the core idea of positivity in friendship is to ensure the relationship fills you up rather than empties your cup.
Vulnerability is a scary word for a lot of people, especially in relation to work. This is not about disclosing personal information to your colleagues. Instead, it is about feeling comfortable with ourselves and each other in the workplace. It should be a safe place to appropriately share your life, your struggles and your joy.
The Business Case for Friendship
Creating meaningful connections at work is a win-win, benefiting both the individual employee and the organization as a whole. Gallup reports that employees with a best friend at work can be seven times more engaged than those without. Increased engagement leads to less frequent absenteeism and more collaboration among employees. Furthermore, Gallup data indicates having best friends at work is key to job success, linking friendships to profitability, safety, inventory control and retention. While friendship is not necessarily the cause of happiness and success at work, it does indicate that friendships contribute to employee perceptions of positive workplace conditions. Inversely, when we feel lonely, challenges seem more difficult, we have less empathy and we are less creative.
Interestingly, the loneliest industries are those that have high engagement with others and require good people skills. Leadership roles also score lonelier than average. We can conclude that simply being around others does not adequately fulfill our social wellness needs. Those who work in highly social environments consume plenty of “social calories,” but they may just be empty calories. We can find more satisfaction through nourishing relationships.
Workplace Strategies
The best way to create work conditions that foster stronger relationships is deceptively simple: Tell employees it is ok to make friends at work! While organizations cannot create friendships from thin air, it is valuable to create opportunities for friendships to form naturally. Leadership plays a crucial role in setting the tone and should actively create space for socialization, facilitating employee interaction when appropriate. Employees report that events like happy hours and paid lunches as well as carving out time in meetings for conversation are most effective. Get creative! If you want to go the extra mile, you can implement relationship-building workshops or even bring in experts to develop innovative strategies for employee engagement through friendship.
Resources
Attend Shasta Nelson’s keynote session at the 35th Annual Art & Science of Health Promotion Conference and visit shastanelson.com to learn more.
The Wellness Alliance in partnership with the International Foundation of Employee Benefit Plans presents the 35th Annual Art & Science of Health Promotion Conference from March 31 to April 4 in Scottsdale, Arizona.
Become a member to view webinar recordings. Register for upcoming live events here: https://welcoa.org/training/.
